HowdieTalks.com

Looking over all this now, sometimes I wonder how did I get here? In high school I definitely would not have won the “most likely to be a mystic” award. More likely “most likely to be a mistake.” So how did I wind up with a life like this?

I had what you may call an adventurous life: hockey player, coach, historian, impersonator, stand up comedian, actor, world traveller. In my spare time I liked to golf, enjoy a few beers with my friends and look for the next cutie to become my new ex-girlfriend. You know- normal stuff. But all the time, I knew something wasn’t right. With me and the world. Something was wrong with everything I had been told. Then in the midst of a great depression, a television program on Egyptian pyramids pointed a new direction.

The wondrous monuments of Ancient Egypt started me on a quest over ten years ago to see what hidden secrets were known then that had become lost by us. A call was there from the begining: something is going to happen to this world, and the ancients had the answer to survival. Every ancient civilization on the planet was sudied and I found incredible similarity. Beginning as an archeologist-historian, I knew the answers as to what they built and why could never come from using modern thinking. I would need to think like an Ancient Egyptian. That led me to the study of Zen, Taoism, Shamanism, Advita, and Gnostic Hermeticism to name just a few. If I thought there was an answer somewhere, I went to look. The standard view of things on the earth became challenged. The book Ancient Egyptian Wisdom Revealed- volume 1 and 2 was the result of the first seven years of study and practice.

In time, there became a breaking point-What if the reality I had so banked everything on, was not as real as I thought? What if the thing I call “me” is not really what I are? These secrets I was not expecting to find.

Those questions became the driving force in my life, and there was a crossroads. Either devote everything to finding out those answers, or drift back into the normal world. Since at the time I could see nothing of value in the world, I had nothing to lose by drifting into the abyss.

Then something happened that had nothing to do with anything I did. I died. Death had been following me for years, constantly playing with me. But then one afternoon in 2005 while out hiking, I fell into a raging canyon near a giant waterfall. I died, but I returned. And then I knew. Certain books and teachers finally make sense, while bullshit was seen instantly as bullshit. I could understand what ancient civilization was really trying to say. All I needed to do was die. Now death is no longer my challenger, it is my best friend.

Egypt symbolically wrote about death, not for some “afterlife” but to die while alive, and see what is left. An entire system of structures and teaching was built for that purpose. The death of the self, not the body. Only by breaking apart the hold of the reflection of the mirror (world) can we finally turn around and look at what “causes” the reflection. The ancient world was a “window” past the bubble of reality for those who were not afraid enough to take a look.

To be clear. You don’t NEED me, or this site. You don’t need anyone. You already have every answer to every question that you may have. I don’t have the answers, you do. You’ve always had them, you just wanted to be hypnotized by the illusions of this dreamworld. All I can be is a pointer to help you find your own answer, or help show you what bullshit you're holding onto that is obscuring it, or help to get you moving if you find yourself stuck, and to show if certain events start happening to you- that you are not going crazy.. A good roadsign is all they can be. I think I would like to be “caution, bump ahead,” or “watch for falling rocks.” But the sign is never the rocks nor the bumps, just a note that they are there.

Don’t take my word on any of this stuff. Examine what’s here. Test it. Check it out. Don’t instantly agree with it, but don’t instantly reject it either. Your ego mind has had you under its spell for a long time, so everything you see and do will be filtered for a while through that false apparatus.

Some things on this site will be informative, confusing, aggravating, and very funny. Irritating is good to help see what you are hiding from. No one can push any of your buttons, unless you have them. Only with humour can one walk into the unknown and not be overcome with fear.

So how I got here doing this? I have no idea, but here I am. Maybe some time, you may want to join me.