HEADING TO REALIZATION

(Questions and answers with visitors to my home, and at public talks I have given)

Q I want to know more about the Absolute

A What you are is the Absolute so technically there is nothing really to know.

Q That doesn't help me.

A It's not supposed to help you.

Q Throw a dog a bone here.

A Honey, you're no dog (smiling)

Q Ok cat.

A MMM Feline huh…I bet you can ever purr.

Q Ok this is making me uncomfortable.

A Yes that's the point. Uncomfortable is more of the process of enlightenment rather than knowing something and getting smarter or better. Walk towards what makes you uncomfortable if you want to know more about self realization.

Q Can we get back to that?

A Does talk with sexual undertones frighten you…make you uncomfortable? (she nods) Then you as form have work to do in that area. If you were done in that field you would just be laughing at my sarcastic stupidity. Now as for enlightenment, that is just a word, a concept, a mental idea. Ask 1000 people and you will get 1000 different answers. So it a shit word, like God or love or happy. Too vague now to really tell us anything about what it used to mean. It revolves around the idea that there is some deep, far off, tiny aspect of you- that is asleep or in the dark- and that this little you can one day in the future wake up or become full of light. In Egypt this is called reaching the Akh, illumination. And this illumination can in fact be reached, and its rather cool, not Fonzie cool, but cool. There is a part of you that is asleep, and that part can wake up. But it is in duality (for it needs its opposite to be categorized) so in time what woke up will go to sleep again. Thus awakening is an experience, you have an experience of becoming light or God or source of everything. Realization is the non experience of seeing what you are is the source of the source. Enlightened still needs I to say I am now enlightened. What you are does not need to be enlightened, but it seems like most have to go through that step to realize What is. Just most stop right there, in the realm of the guru, for this akh place is pretty nice- especially after the hard work and sacrifice form went through to get there.

Q So what is the point of all these people who struggled to reach this place of light?

A I don't know, ask them. Maybe they think they are more powerful now, or more peaceful, or richer, or have way more sex. I don't know. Mostly they just think they are now very important people. I mean like I say, its nice and it feels good- just it doesn't last, and because it doesn't last, it will leave questions unanswered- which is the definition of asleep. The question you really want to be asking is "who wants to be enlightened, what about you needs this thing you call enlightenment.?

Q Well me.

A Who is this me?

Q Ok you're pissing me off now with these Dr Phil answers.

A No Dr. Phil would say, "like my daddy said you can't wake up if you sleep with the milk cow when you should be eating wonton soup in the station wagon."

Q (chuckling) one goes through so many emotions with you in such a short period of time.

A (Smiling) It's a gift. But who's pissed off, or who's laughing. Does what you call you even have any control over either one of those emotions, or did they just hit you?

A You have been investing in this thing you call enlightenment. You've put you're your faith in the Merrill Lynch enlightenment stock, waiting for it to rise up and then sell for a big profit in the future…but it will never rise, nor never drop. Its value is always the same. Zero. That is because there is no one there that that gain or lose anything. Thus you have to practice and work like hell, to one day suddenly realize that there was nothing to practice and work for. As I say, this stuff is real paradoxical.

Q But some people seem really happy.

A Yes they seem that way. It's a sort of trap of the becoming light stage. This new exhaled state needs contestant attention to stay, one little slip and you're back in the hell of duality. That means you need great energy to stay there. It needs two things a) you have to stop doing a lot of the most fun things, because they require so much energy b) you need disciples or people around whose energy you can steal, so you can stay happy. The guru stays happy not because of some great work, but because he steals all his followers energy. They get drained, and tired, and frustrated, while he gets rich: in energy and money he sucks from them. A guru can not be a happy guru without the flock of followers to keep him or her energized.

Q I never thought of the guru thing that way.

A Thus there are no enlightened people. Just a form where Absolute has taken over. Such a form is not any more holy or special than anyone else, just realized. One of the biggest scam artists I ever saw, this woman, got such a huge following, and so many people I knew got sucked in. She told them what they wanted to hear, and they gave her everything- they didn't notice it- but she kept staying as this energized, happy, smiling person, while they all became zombies. Amazing really. I'm so glad I saw it, I mean I smelled the rat from day one, but these others- some of my best friends, were happy to become zombies if they could just keep having her around telling them how great they are. I mean you can't be happy all the time. Ok say your happy right now, but your wife dies, or your kid's foot gets cut off by a lawnmower, or your cat won't sit on your lap, or you have no salad dressing, or you can't fuck the neighbor - or whatever. See no matter how happy you are, something will come along to pull that happy away- and you can only keep happy at huge cost to everything around you, through energy theft. They need a flock, of friends, followers whatever, not to commune with, but to steal from. Again I am not bashing this thing referred to by the word enlightenment, becoming light. It's cool and it's a step. What I'm talking about is getting the answers to everything, because you are totally fed up with being surrounded by lies. Any you don't really know at this stage that happy or bliss is the final answer. For that you don't need me or anyone else. Ok maybe I can offer the odd pointer of where to look next, but even that is debatable.

Q So where to we go from here?

A Forget about defining enlightenment, about knowing what it means, just sit back, grab a drink, and enjoy the show- the dream called life- it's passing by you right now. So forget these concepts and ideas, hand me a glass with an umbrella in it, grab your bikini, and lets go back to what's really important, seeing why my teasing about purring makes you so uncomfortable… It's the realization that there is no one here who can become realized. That enlightenment is as big a lie as anything else in the dream. You could say that real enlightenment can finally happen when one sees that there is no such thing as enlightenment. You have what you need- its just fully sinking into yourself- that's it. Like jumping into a swimming pool.

Q Or falling into a canyon?

A (laughing) Yes or falling into a canyon.

2 JUST BLOW UP

Q I want to be enlightened.

A Really? Why?

Q What?

A Realizing your true nature can't actually be wanted because it exposes as a lie the very thing that wants it. There is the paradox again. You find it by backing away from it's opposite. False. At the begining false is rather easy to spot, but it gets harder and more tricky as you go along. Eventually somethinig will force you to "seek the seeker," which is why I asked you why you want to be enlightened. It is the first question to ask yourself to begin seeking the seeker. "You" won't make it. In realization there is no you there. When you vanish, so vanishes the dream you always believed. How could you want that? What you can want is to be tired of the lie. You can learn to detect the lie and turn your back on it. Realization hits you out of the blue, like getting hit by a Mack truck on the highway of life. Being slammed by the truck just shows how crazy you have been thinking you can get somewhere, or make a difference in what happens, or be worried about what you did. But within the dream, the process has to be respected.

A Humans are nothing but walking fear machines- and a system has been imposed for thousands of years to keep increasing this fear. But…what you are is silent, pure, changeless, formless, perfect. But you as you know yourself in this form has nothing to do with it, and at the same time is it. Until you know, you are just another form standing on the road waiting for the Mack Truck. The point thus becomes that you can't escape, because you, fear and hell go together. You can't get rid of just one, all of them have to go at once. It' all been a play or a movie- and there is only one actor- an actor that is playing all the roles from you to me to her to the desk to the pen, to the sky, to the bird. All of it. Now you may see certain roles as rather unpleasant, but this one actor is playing all the roles at the same time. It does not need more of one or less of another. Things are exactly as it wants it to be. That doesn't mean it should not change, just so far the script has gone as written. When it is all supposed to end, it will. Besides if one's life was fun and happy they would have no interest in going to look behind the veil and search out what all this is- so the hell is needed or waking up won't happen. Every single thing that realized the nature of What Is, experienced some form of hell. It takes a long build up the resentment energy needed to break free of the dream. Eventually form gets so pissed off it just lets the truck finally hit it.

Q Ok, say it's happening.

A What, realization of What Is?

Q Yes, right now. Is it fun? Is it not fun?

A Ummm. All depends on what you call fun I guess. I think the s and m people would find it more fun than everyone else. (smiling). When it does happen it won't be that I or mind or self leaves you, you realize that they were never there, it was all a big trick. All those ideas just explode in an orgasm of destruction. And everything ever conditioned in you by every aspect of society is blown to pieces. And what is left is what you are. Everything you believe, want, love, hold, dream, fear or remember is stripped from you. The price of being what you are is everything, and as one gets a glimpse its just too much for most to pay, so they may get close and turn back- or find a nice drop off point and pretend to everyone they made it. But the best news is that you will never be able to pay it, because I will never give up I. Doing so means you disappear. Thus the win comes by losing everything, and you can only know what losing everything means when it happens to you. You go, time goes, world goes- but what you are is there as it always was, and it all gets CLEAR- form is back, now you know the lie of all of appearances and it becomes like a big joke. Or a bizzare "why this?"

Q From changes to…

A Your form changes over time to reflect what has happened to it so to speak. It begins to operate in a more natural way, optimal human functioning. It comes automatically, but there is usually a long period of real discomfort as form lets go of the conditioning in its DNA to reflect the new found, well ummm, connection to What Is. Not a good explanation, but it takes time to adjust. The adjustment part is not talked about too much, mostly because the so called realized teachers are not really realized. They made the drop off point thus can't talk about the post adjustment because they never crossed the finish line. The integration part is like being bent over after a long race, getting your wind back- while the enlightened gurus out there all stopped the race half way through to sign autographs.

Q so what's left after the explosion?

A Blow up and you'll know.

Q But I don't want to blow up.

A Then you'll never know.

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